Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Really Jill?

I mean... for real, for real Jill?

In an OpEd in Essence Magazine Jill says;

"We reflect on this awful past and recall that if a Black man even looked at a
White woman, he would have been lynched, beaten, jailed or shot to death. In the
midst of this, Black women and Black men struggled together, mourned together,
starved together, braved the hoses and vicious police dogs and died untimely on
southern back roads together. These harsh truths lead to what we really feel
when we see a seemingly together brother with a Caucasian woman and their
children. That feeling is betrayed. While we exert efforts to raise our sons and
daughters to appreciate themselves and respect others, most of us end up doing
this important work alone, with no fathers or like representatives, limited
financial support (often court-enforced) and, on top of everything else, an
empty bed. It’s frustrating and it hurts!

Our minds do understand that people of all races find genuine love in many places. We dig that the world is full of amazing options. But underneath, there is a bite, no matter the ointment, that has yet to stop burning. Some may find these thoughts to be hurtful. That is not my intent. I’m just sayin’."

I SOOooooo ditto this response post!

Now I love Jill Scott as much as anyone, but I found her statements sorely misguided. Although I can understand theoretically where she is coming from, on a visceral level I just can’t relate. My focus is just… elsewhere.

There’s something I’ve noticed about the natural community: A LOT of us are
married, engaged and/or dating! I have read/heard so many adorable love
stories on blogs, YouTube channels and Fotki pages — all featuring natural
black women as the central character. Some of my favorites are
Margaret, Sunshine, Turnergirl, Roshini and MrsBNL.

There has been debate over whether the percentage of married naturals
is higher than the percentage of married black women overall. I don’t know
the answer to that (though I’d place my bets on married naturals) but I have
found that generally speaking natural women are so preoccupied with their
own happiness and progress that they don’t care about what some triflin/uninterested black man — or any color man for that matter — is doing.

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I'd further wonder why any woman would focus on any man who is dating not only someone who is not you, but someone who is also unlike you. Why spend any energy at all wondering why that particular black man is dating who he's with, or why any other man is dating anyone at all who is not you. If you have got your mind right, you will attract that which appreciates your you-ness. Best thing to do is thus work on yourself to best attract what best fits for you. There is no need to feel any sort of way about a relationship that is not yours.

1 comment:

  1. I agree 100%. One should be focused on find what compliments them. Not what compliments someone else.