Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Things I Love About the Affair (behind hate's back)

I keep having these odd nightmares about being single and frustrated.  About roaming aimlessly and being out with faceless undesirables for no reason other than protocol.  Status quo for a woman in her late 20's = date or become an old mean maid doctor-of-something. Alas... I have been rescued by FairSir, and I wake up relieved by the reassurance of some funny sleeping position he's assumed since I last peeked at him.  He's real, I'm real, and our relationship is real. And with that realness comes a huge side of surreal moments.

I love that we practically have developed our own language. 
Complete with oddball pet names and call and response routines, our new native tongue would hardly be comprehensible to an outsider.  We'd surely be sent to the funny farm if you took any 20 sec snippet of convo out of context.  Words branch off from shared experiences of long ago and mutate into 10-off versions of the original reference.  Hearing one of those words instantly puts me back in the warmth of our smaller world where there is a we, against a them.

I love that we break the same sorts of rules/social norms. 
I look damn good in my $4 sweater and he in his $4 jacket. 
Pineapple juice(orange stuff), seltzer(fizzy stuff) and ginger paste(spicy stuff), maybe a little red stuff = tasty @ home drink time. 
House work? tomorrow is generally better for that. 
For the curly hair product, I think I'll go with the "green stuff."  Ah yes... the green stuff. (Curls are popping, ain't we pretty). 
My weekend sweatshirt/dress uniform, in 4 different colors, is rivaled by his yesterday's swagger.
I love that we both have grown up with both of our parents.
We have not both seen marriages work, but we have both been mature enough to understand when and why they don't, what's important, what could have been done better, etc. We've also both got to see first hand the repercussions and rewards for actions taken in our parents youth.

I love that we both have the same Phenotype.
We have the exact same physical description except that he's male and I'm female. We understand all the nuances that go with our physical "descriptions"; the stereotypes, discrimination, and the dichotomy of splitting cultural hairs. And if one more person says we look like brother and sister... knowing we are NOT... (why say that? why.)

I love that we both have strong interests in different yet congruent things.
What this boils down to is that we can talk, and relate to each other, in an expansive way instead of an implosive way. We can each add new levels of knowledge and points of reference to the things that make us tick. Thus new projects are born, new tangents are followed, and changes are constantly being made. We go lots of places and do many things instead of always doing one thing. We live big and keep talking and growing.

To be continued...

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